My ESQ Experience

"Demi Matahari dan sinarnya di pagi hari,
Demi Bulan apabila ia mengiringi,
Demi siang yang menampakkan diri,
Demi malam apabila menutupi,
Demi langit dan seluruh binaannya,
Demi Bumi dan seluruh isi di permukaannya,
Demi jiwa dan penyempurnaannya,"

I was smiling mischieviously, with the man's funny gesture, this could be a funny act for us to pick on. The man doing those gestures is the tai kor of ESQ, Mr. Ary Ginanjar Agustian, doing that on video. Then our facilitator of the day did the exact same thing. I smiled again.

But then,

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

"Oh my God, is this...?"

وَالشَّمْسِ وَضُحَاهَا

Yes, yes it is.

The 'poem', was a translation from the holy Quran. In fact, it is Surat-usy-Syams, one of my favorite surah. Favorite because of the exceptional beauty of the rhymes, even when I never fully understood the meaning. It is one of the surah that I wished I could memorize, that I wish I could mesmerize my maamum with it's intricate poetic beauty of Arabic literature when I recite it in my prayers. But I've just ridiculed God's words (albeit the translation of God's words).

وَالْقَمَرِ إِذَا تَلاهَا
وَالنَّهَارِ إِذَا جَلاهَا
وَاللَّيْلِ إِذَا يَغْشَاهَا
وَالسَّمَاءِ وَمَا بَنَاهَا
وَالأرْضِ وَمَا طَحَاهَا
وَنَفْسٍ وَمَا سَوَّاهَا

Ash-Shams: 1-7

And how it hit me hard, deep in my heart, that time. How could I be so cold, to be playful of the words of Quran, and worse, from one of my favourite surah? Immediately my eyes were moist, but I can't drip my tears now, no. It is egoistic of me that I should remain hard and not be moved by any of these. I've been to numerous motivational programmes and this is just another one. Even if I were to cry, I must never show it.

And so it did. That was the only time something touched my heart. In fact, that was only the introduction. It was not meant to be a heart-touching session. It was just using fancy poetry from the greatest literature book of Quran as an introduction.

Imagine a pebble, something you pick at the river streams (batu sungai). Pick a black one, a nice shiny one that fits about the palm of your hand. Drop it on a marble floor. You know the sound that it makes, and how it bounces off the surface? That is how I imagine how hard my heart could be. Heart is a fictional organ that dictates human emotions and stuff. Thing is, every controllable act of human is governed by the brain. But we always say words like, "kind-hearted," or, "follow your heart," which represents something deeper than mind or desire. In Malay, the 'heart' that we refer as emotions is 'hati', which is actually liver. So when people talk about black heart, I imagine a black liver. And when the black liver is hard, I imagine it as the stone just now.

There were numerous sessions soon after, that were meant to touch the heart. Unfortunately, by that time, I could not cry. Thing is, as said just now, I've been to these types of motivations numerous times in my life. When you had it first time, it should touch you. The very least is you should shed some tears, the minimum proof that your heart is still 'softenable'. But when you keep hearing the same thing, it does make you think, "I should miss Him, shouldn't I?" but not enough to make you feel lonely or guilty to the extent of making you cry.

The first session is called the 'outer journey'. (Man, can I be sued on this? Should I disclose all these? So far I haven't sign any agreement saying that I will not disclose the training to the outside world, so no harm I guess.) The outer journey takes you outside, far from the Earth, up to the heavens, overseeing the Universe. The obvious part here is, the journey shows how mighty Allah really is, and that is not even His limitations yet. He is powerful to outdo that, and He can do it at His immediate will. But more to that, they add the power of faith (iimaan) by presenting Quranic verses with direct references to modern science discoveries.

OK I will only tell you until that. I think the session was a good success. I heard a lot of people sobbing in repentance, acknowledging the Highness of God, admitting the doubt in one's faith, admitting the ignorance towards Him.

The usage of Quranic verses in a motivational programme is refreshing. It binds the emotional quotient that most training schemes provide, with the extra element of what they call spiritual quotient. But it makes me wonder, why do we need these trainings in the first place? For muslims, we should be good enough as a character, that we don't even need these trainings. It makes me ask the question, "Is Islam incomplete?"

So that's it for the first half of my post for ESQ. Please do read the second half, which the clickable link in the previous paragraph. And as a conclusion, ESQ is a great character-building training for all walks of people, even non-muslims, and I do want to stress this. That ESQ promotes the love of God, and although it may use the word 'Allah' quite frequently, fact is that we all believe in God and in Oneness of God, so by promoting the love of God in ourselves, we can only be better, and great potential lies ahead to be unleashed.

ESQ has hugely promoted the believe in God and the love of God to us. That every single thing around us, including us ourselves, are mortal, except Him. We may love the world, love our parents, love our money, love our friends, love our academic scores, but none of them will ever last forever except Him. That it is not worth living except for Him. However, I noticed, the training missed an important verse that has been inspirational to me. It answers the question, "Why do we even exist?"

I have only created Jinns and men, that they may worship Me.
Adz-Dzaariyaat: 56

Back in my foundation days, we all had to take the Islamic Studies course, and everyone is divided into groups for projects, and the projects must be presented. There was this one group, at the end of the presentation, a lovely young lady took the mic and read out the verse above, and how it touches me deep in my heart. My God, the answer of the ultimate question of our lives is written in your book all these while. May Allah bless that pretty girl (she still is, hahah).

Spread the words of God, even if it is just one verse. You don't know how much it can change other people's lives.

And for ESQ, they're doing just that. Spreading the words of God, and building character along the way. May Allah help all the good-willing people, and for the participants, may this ESQ acts as a stepping stone to unleashing a bigger potential for all of us.