My Days are Counted

My last final examination paper is three days away. Just three days after that will be the submission date for the final report of plant design project (which can go up to 500 pages). The next day will be my final presentation of my final year project.

The plant design project final report consists of around 100 pages of collective group work, and around 70 pages of individual work (from five team members), neither of which I (or we) have completed. The individual part, I haven't even started. My last exam paper is one of the toughest, and I have yet to study anything at all. Missing a whole lot of classes doesn't help a little tiny bit. And (although I have already submitted the final report for my final year project,) I still wish to do some experiments so that I have something good to present later on.

Seems to be quite a hectic week ahead of me. And the pressure, the stress and stuff. Never mind. It'll just be one week and after that I'm free from all the suffering. I'll be graduating!

That is how pretty much most people set their minds here. All the suffering shall end, and here comes graduation, something to cheer on. Unfortunately for me, graduation is pretty much the opposite. In no way do I actually anticipate graduation. Straight talking, I hate graduation. I wonder why people (in fact, most of them around me) can't wait for graduation. I just can't see where's the joy.

I've been granted life by my Creator for 23 years already on His heavenly Earth and still counting. I should say that I regard my five years of live in UTP is one of the best, and that is no exaggeration. Yeah, I have a few complaints here and there, but overall, my life in UTP is incredible. So beautiful, sometimes I wish it would last forever.

Well, nothing last forever (except Him of course). I have to move on. I have to work, (granted) I have to marry and have babies and have responsibilities. It is just the cycle of life. Then you'll grow old and die (if He lets you live long enough to go through all that). There are two things I do look forward to, actually. One, earning money, and two, spending money. Those are the only two things that I can think of why working is better than studying.

But I get to do both of that even while studying, albeit a fraction less. Hence I can't see why studying sucks. I've been studying for sixteen years now, and probably I'm going to miss the life. Hey, maybe those people suffer because they had classes to attend, quizzes and tests to study, assignments and projects to be submitted. Reasonably that's why they hate studying. But for me, every single one of those mentioned are optional. I don't go to class if I don't feel like going (which is most of the time). I don't study for quizzes and tests if it is too burdening. Initially I hate copying other people for marks, but later in my life I find out that that greatly spares my time to study. And assignments are optional, too. You only submit if you want the marks. If you feel the reward is not worthful then why put the extra effort?

Needless to say, most of the things I did are against the teachings of my religion. Attending classes are compulsory because I am paid to attend them. And copying other people in tests and quizzes is a dishonest act. But it helps make my life easier. (Claiming "Hey, everyone is doing it,"is not an excuse to commit a wrongful conduct.) And it makes me hate studying a lot less than other stressful people.

And why is working life better than studying life? Because you only work from 8 to 5 and never to bother about work at night? Here, I wake up anytime I want and I can do it all week. When I'm lazy to submit my assignments, my marks are less than other people. When I work, when I'm lazy to submit a report on a particular assigned task, I don't get pay rise. I could even possibly get fired. Which one sucks more?

And all those wonderful tiny little things that you will miss about campus life. You will never be able to play an online game with eight, ten of your friends simultaneously. You will never get to have dinner or supper with a table that extends up to kilometres. You will never get to stare young pretty girls (or attractive guys) all around the campus. And what else?

I'm beginning to miss UTP already. I never swim at the swimming pool, I wish I had. I never jogged around the incredibly scenic gardens. I never played any other sports except futsal. Thankfully I have prayed at the majestic mosque, although not very often. I never made full use of the lab equipments and information resource center (wow, I actually wished about academic stuff) that I quite regret it. I never stole an iconic monument of this university and leave it at some other university (or the other way). I never developed Ragnarok while I was the gamemaster. I never roasted a whole goat with my friends. I never went to Tambun or Lata Kinjang.

The list of "I wish I did it," never ends. And hey, towards the end, there are some things I must do. Most of them about owing things, but there are simply too much of them. I owe people money, and I hope I never forget. I owe the Chemical Engineering Student Society two barbeque sets. I owe the library (and some people) some books. I owe my housemates a big open table for their help on my batch's barbeque. And I owe countless people countless deeds that I will never ever be able to pay off, what I called, 'utang nyawe', because that is what really is, something that I will never be able to repay. And I owe it all to you guys, everyone. Thank you for everything, and I'm sorry for my hurtful words and acts. I will dearly miss this place life.